Historically, I have had a love-hate relationship with stuff.  I buy stuff and then I have too much of it and I try to get rid of it and am really only ever semi-successful.

Some of the stuff here is easy.  40 Dean Koontz books I read in grade 8 and 9?  Probably don’t need them anymore.  Extra boxes of invitations to my high school graduation ceremony?  Toss ‘em.  The shoes I wore to mow the grass in 1998?  WTF are those still doing here?

However, among the stuff, occasionally I run across… sentimental stuff.  The shadow box of shells my 9th grade boyfriend gave me in Corpus Christi.  The souvenir props from our senior year production of MASH.  Notes, letters, journals, photos, poetry books.  Oh, yes, you read that right.  Poetry books.  Didn’t you know?  I was quite the famous poet in high school.  I had books filled with poetry and accompanying art.  People loved them, they’d get passed around and copied down and I’ve even found several of them plagiarized in various places on the internet.  In fact, a poetry site was where I made my first internet-friend (oh the days of dial-up AOL!).

This, in combination with some personality-typing conversations I’ve been having lately, have made me wonder about my writing.  Before poetry, it was short stories.  I kept journals, relished in letter-writing, etc etc.  Reading comments in my yearbooks and the like, people thought I would be a writer.

Whatever, right?  I mean my 5th grade teacher said I was going to be President and we all know too many compromising photos exist for that to ever happen.  But still.

When I write now, it comes slowly and with not as much grace as I remember feeling like I had.  Still, I wonder if this gift doesn’t still exist somewhere.  I think I’ll start writing again.  I don’t know if it will be here or in a paper (gasp) journal of some kind, but either way hopefully I’ll make it here occasionally.

In the mean time!  While I am in TX and finding these “gems”, perhaps I will share some of my teen-aged angsty poetry and journal entries with you all.  You know you love it.

Wish You Were Here
circa 1998, 15 y.o.

The way it used to be was
There was never any question
You always knew where I’d be
For you, with love and affection
Now you wonder where I’ve gone
Silly boy, I’m still here
It was you who wandered away
And left me standing in tears
But the past is all behind us
I’m not holding a grudge
And I’m happy that you’re happy
Even if it is without my love
So where exactly did I go?
Off in a corner to cry
Hiding the tears from the strangers
So no one would ask me why
Maybe I just didn’t follow you
Because I was happy where I was
But that didn’t stop you from wandering
Just as a boy always does
Maybe I’m better off this way
But who is to be the judge?
I just wanted to know where I lost you
Because now… I’m alone… in love.

I know lots of people (yes, including me) that could have benefited from growing up with ideas like this about sexuality.  The number of friends I have that think this way does give me hope for the future, but still sometimes I feel a liiittle bit impatient for the future to be here Right. Now.

Maybe next we can address gender binaries?

When I got all my hair chopped off in… March? they gently chastised me for cutting my own bangs (again) and reminded me I can come in for a free bang trim anytime.  I like wearing my bangs pretty long, so they do require pretty frequent trimming.

As much as I love my salon (Lana Cyrus — if anyone lives in Chicago and has curly/unruly hair, go to them!), it isn’t really on my way to anything, so that didn’t really happen.  Unfortunately I also haven’t cut my own bangs, so they’ve just been getting longer and longer.  Sometimes I clip them back, but sometimes I’m all “No, I can totally work with this!”.  I then pretend I can rock a side-swipe look and that works… for maybe 2 minutes, or until I leave my bedroom, whichever is first.  So I think I am walking around with just a bit of hair in my eyes and boy am I cool.

Not bad, right?

Then, I catch a look at myself in something reflective.

Alright, FINE.  I’ll cut my damn bangs.

I am breaking my blog-silence over nothing in particular.  It seems like a good place to start, right?  The beginning of my second year in the Windy City, at a moment of no particular relevance.  Which isn’t to say there isn’t a lot going on, because boy, there is a lot going on.  A trip to Chincoteague last weekend, a move to the 2nd foor (same house, just a new room), some changes afoot at work, and my cats are still delightfully fuzzy.  There may be something of note in personal relationships, but as I’m typing I’m realizing I may not be ready for full public disclosure.  Suffice to say that things are good.

So let’s just skip to my new room.

It should not shock anyone to know I like my edges a little neater than this.

I live in a co-op, so the rooms aren’t always maintained by people that are super-concerned with aesthetics or that have training/knowledge in proper paint application. And this house was built in the late 1800s.   So the state of my walls leaves something to be desired.

The photo here shows two problems.  The one that makes me most twitchy is the really poor edging.  The other one which I’d like to fix is how uneven the surface of the wall is.  There are other places on the wall where paint is peeling off, in large strips (you can see this in the last photo in this post).

So basically this means that this will be a fairly major renovation project.  I think I am going to scrape off as much paint as I can, sand the edges a little and just re-mud the walls.  Then I should have a nice fresh surface to start from scratch on!

The other major project?  This room was originally a living room.  That means it is nice and big and even has a great bay window with a giant window seat (that the cats LOVE).  What is also means is no closet.

I have too much clothing.

Right now I just have a clothing rack/bar thing, a cool little shelf thing from IKEA and a bunch of piles of stuff.  I have purchased an actual wardrobe (again, from IKEA), but it is still living in my car because it is HEAVY and I don’t really have a place to put it at the moment.

i am so organized.

Anyway, so I have the outlines of a plan there, but really my room is still just piles of stuff.  I’m trying to give myself a break since I just moved last week, but I would really like the space to feel a little more together already, even if that is unreasonable to expect of myself.

Please feel free to share if you have any smart tips on painting and or clever I-don’t-have-a-closet ideas.  We’ll consider these my “before” pictures and I’ll keep you updated on how the “after” is coming!

**Dinner menu:

• African Sweet Potato Stew (note: I have no idea what makes the stew particularly African. It is very possible that the great liberties that I took with the recipe negated whatever it was)
• Maple Ginger Soy Acorn Squash (this is a staple in my co-op cooking repertoire, but it worked really well with the sweet potato stew)
• Tempura vegetables with soy sauce (Mushrooms, bell peppers, zucchini, cauliflower)

I know the winter in Chicago is long and harsh, but I’m still pretty delighted by snow. I’ve been told by many that I’ll get over it and resort to the grumbly attitudes of so many others, but even if that is true, I see no reason to not go ahead and be delighted now.

So instead of a “best of 2009″ post, I am going to write a mid-season report on what has been happening on some key shows on the ol’ teevee since September.  I will be using my rating system from an old post, so you may want to refresh yourself by clicking here.

New shows!

GLEE (6) - If you have had a conversation with me since the pilot premiered in May, you probably already know how I feel about this show. I find it utterly delightful and fun.  Who doesn’t adore Jane Lynch?  I am really wondering how we will all survive until April with no new episodes.  Hopefully they will come out with some fun web content to help us light the dark dark nights until it returns with new episodes and some amazing confirmed guest stars!

Accidentally on Purpose (5) – This may bump up to a 6 based on other things I am bumping down.  I recently got Caer addicted to this show.  I think it’s smart, funny and it manages to have annoying characters that I actually like (what?). It even manages to be about pregnancy (aka an impending child!) and I *still* love it.  Definitely a sitcom, but a very fast-paced and well done one.

[Davis, mixing a big bowl of batter] “Did you eat some of those special brownies I put in the freezer?”

[Zach, eyeing the big bowl of batter] “They aren’t in the freezer.  You are making them right now.”

[Davis, pausing and looking momentarily confused] “…  Okay, space and time police!”

White Collar (5) – I started watching this of course because it is starring Matthew Bomer (aka Bryce Larkin from Chuck), but it turned out to be a pretty solid little show.  A nice take on a cop drama and they have good cases that they solve in creative ways given Matthew’s role as a criminal-turned-FBI-consultant.  The fall finale was a really great example of how to get people coming back for more.  It’s getting a better timeslot when it comes back this month, but for people like me who just watch things on Hulu, it just means my queue will have it pending earlier in the week.

Three Rivers (3) – Bah.  This was canceled early and it deserved it.  I love Alex O’Laughlin and Katherine Moenning.  I even loved the concept of the show (every episode showed 3 stories — the story of a transplant patient, the story of the person who ends up a donor and the transplant team.  Three Rivers, get it?), but the execution fell flat on its face.  I hope Alex and Katherine find good projects to move on to.

Old Favorites!

How I Met Your Mother (3) – Oh, HIMYM, I just want to cry!  In all previous seasons this has been a very strong 6 for me.  I even went so far as to get N into it (and I don’t waste his time on just anything!), and then this season happened.  From the failed handling of Robin & Barney to the Marshall-obsessed-with-a-barrel story line, this season has been an utter failure compared to previous seasons.  There have been a couple bright spots in the murky waters (Barney in overalls?  That was pretty good), and I will absolutely be watching with 100th episode on January 11th (mostly because of the NPH musical number), but after that, it will officially be demoted.

Bones (6) – Bones this season gives me hope that HIMYM will bounce back.  Last season, Bones was very uneven.  Dropping story lines with little explanation (Angela and Hodgins? Zach didn’t kill the lobbyist?) or finishing out old storylines badly (the season 2 Gravedigger episode is one of the best episodes ever, but the conclusion in season 4? such a let down).  But this season they are BACK.  The emotional tension between Booth and Brennen is being handled so well, the cases are interesting and the subplots are really holding their own.  The rotating interns have stepped it up (even Daisy — who would have thought she could be a redeeming character??), and I always love when they bring Stephen Frye back.  He and John Francis Daley are awesome shrink-ing it up together.  Love love love.

Grey’s Anatomy (5) – This is another example of a show that has bounced back from a serious slump.  I think I said most of what I’ve been loving about this season in my previous post on the topic, so I’ll mostly leave it at that.  The only downside for me is Izzie.  She’s never been my favorite and now I am so tired of her, and I’m glad recent episodes haven’t harped much on her or even her absence (other than giving Justin Chambers some good acting moments with emotional depth).  I have a hard time imagining what will have to happen when Katherine Heigl returns from maternity leave for me to find Izzie redeeming.

Criminal Minds (5) – Upgraded from a previous 4 to a 5.  Did you see the 100th episode*?  I don’t think I’ve ever been more stressed out when watching a TV show.  But whoa, so so well done.  This season has gotten be actively delving back into past seasons to really get to know the characters better.  I think the biggest downfall on this show is that CBS doesn’t stream it anywhere.  Not on Hulu, not on the CBS website.  You can’t even buy them from iTunes!  I imagine this probably has to do with some weird liscencing restrictions, but it is really in their best interest to sort it out asap since most people I know watch their shows online now.  I doubt this show will ever become a re-watch level-6 obsession because of the accessibility restriction (and because it can be so stressful!).

*Note: This was the conclusion of a pretty long plot arc, so if you just jump into the show starting with this episode it might not quite hit the same level of stress with no back story.

Summary of the rest of TV?  Dexter had his most intense season yet; Gossip Girl survrived the move to college (and I really liked Hilary Duff’s character); House has been quite solid; I’m officially on board with The Big Bang Theory (start with season 2 if you want to like it); Community and Cougar Town ended up being quite funny; Dollhouse has been canceled (sorry guys, but I didn’t like Eliza Dushku in that role… I hope Fran & co find new projects soon though!); people still try to convince me to like The Office and 30 Rock (sorry, almost everyone in the world, those just don’t do it for me); I still feel pretty ambivilant about Flash Forward; and I’ve officially given up on Nip/Tuck (sorry Ryan Murphy — I’m still over-the-moon about Glee, though!).    I’m excited for the mid-season premieres (Chuck is back this month!) and am crossing my fingers really really hard that HIMYM pulls it together at least for the 100th ep.

Yep yep, I think that about sums it up!  Did I miss anything?  Do you violently disagree with me?  Are you going to try to convince me that I am soulless if I don’t love 30 Rock?

Carolina and I went ice skating yesterday! It was fun times. There are two places for me to go ice skating for free in Chicago. Actually, maybe there are more, but right now I know of 2. One is Millenium Park downtown (if you have to rent skates it is $10) and the other is the Midway (skate rental is $5). But if you own your own skates both are FREE, which is awesome and something I hope to make part of my regular life.

We went to the Midway and I was super nervous because I haven’t been skating in many many years. It hurts a lot more to fall down now than it did when I was 10. However, I remembered pretty quickly how to propel myself around the frozen rink and even managed to do those graceful leg-crossing turns a few times. I did, also, manage to fall down, twice. Both times it was because I caught my toe pick on the ice (I own the figure-skating style skates, not the hockey kind) then threw myself forward as a result. As it happens, boobs + tummy + winter coat = a pretty okay cushion for falling! The second time was a bit more painful because I also hit my knees on the ice.

About 5 hours after the skating, my knees were pretty damn sore (LOTS of stairs to get from Carolina’s place to mine!), but 24 hours later, I’m feelin’ alright.  Muscles are sore from being used in ways they were not used to, and my knees are bruised, but functional.  All in all, not a bad first time out.  Next time I aim to fall down less.